Want to be a hipster? Well, you can't. While hipsters deliberately avoid labels, their unorthodox lifestyles get them labeled instead. Want to be called a hipster? Then study these steps and exert the attitude, but please — don't try so hard.

What do you call an individual with thick-rimmed glasses, skinny jeans and a nebula printed on their crop top? That’s right, you have just seen a hipster.

Hipsters, or 14- to 20-something-year olds who value unconventional thinking, witty attitudes and an “effortlessly cool” clothing style, all share a common mission: to avoid labels and being labeled. This goal proves insufficient, however, because almost all hipsters dress and act in a very similar way, enabling you to identify a flock when you see them on the street. And the flocks are increasing.

Hipsters are taking over the world as we know it.

One cannot go anywhere without running into someone blasting an underground band from their iPod or updating their blogs with phones so old, it’s hard to believe they can receive Internet access at all. Our society seems influenced, if not conquered, by hipsters, the ruling cultural class.

Where do we find hipsters? These free spirits concentrate in big cities like Chicago, New York City, and, you guessed it, San Francisco. Basically, hipsters live in cities rampant with their lifestyle accessories, thriving in urban areas laced with bike lanes, stocked with organic food and brimming with vintage thrift stores.

The Origins of the Hipster

Since hipsters are the early-adopters of new music, fashion and ideals, they pioneer the latest cultural trends. Yet hipsters actually started off as a group who admired, and hence wanted to emulate, another culture.

Americans coined the term “hipster” in the 1940s, when racial segregation was still prominent in the United States. It refers to the progressive middle-class white youth who sought the lifestyle of the predominately black jazz musicians they worshipped. In his 1957 essay, The White Negro, American writer Norman Mailer describes hipsters as people who aim to “divorce themselves from society, to exist without roots, to set out on that uncharted journey into the rebellious imperatives of the self.” This definition is the foundation of their culture today. Although their habits differ from hipsters of the 40s, their attitudes do not.

How to be a Hipster

Step One: Adopt the ATTITUDE

Firstly you need exude the vibe that, well, you just don’t care. Unkempt hair or a bed-head look? Great. Next, educate yourself by reading the paper or listening to National Public Radio in order to form opinions about society. Try inserting impressive words like “pulchritudinous” (“pulchritudinous” sounds like an insult but actually describes someone with “great physical beauty or appeal”) into sentences to sound intellectual. If you don’t know erudite diction, coin a new phrase like “nix out,” which means, “to eliminate or get rid of ”. Most importantly, practice denial. If someone asks if you are a hipster, say “no.” A true hipster always refutes their hipster status.

Step Two: Get the STYLE

A proper hipster owns a closet full of clothes that once belonged to their grandparents. The basic haircut for a hipster usually consists of long layers and bangs swept to the side. Alternatively, you can get a more radical look by dying your hair bright colors or partially shaving your hair like the artist Cassie Ventura. To save time and money, dip-dye your hair in Kool-Aid instead of the salon. Next, flaunt the right apparel. Large glasses, especially vintage and/or fake ones, are a must. Oversized sweaters, extremely skinny jeans, Doc Martens, flannel and/or plaid button-ups, and flowing tops with vintage prints are a major part of the hipster affcionado.

Find almost all of your clothes at a thrift store, where most hipsters shop and where “everything old is new again,” said Alex Rigaud, a friend of the owner of Minxy Boutique, a thrift shop in the Mission. For lazy hipsters who can’t handle rummaging through thrift stores, Urban Outfitters or online shopping websites such as Modcloth offer an acceptable alternative to achieve hipster swag.

Step Three: Listen to the MUSIC

Hipsters generally do not listen to mainstream bands like Lady Gaga or Eminem, unless they want to be ironic. To enjoy “hipster” music, search for bands that no one has ever heard of, such as Mike Got Spiked. And if Mike Got Spiked ever does gain popularity, you can say, “Oh, I know that band. I liked them before they were cool.”

Step Four: Post PHOTOGRAPHY on a BLOG

As vintage-enthusiasts, hipsters require cameras (film, not digital) for their photography. Dig around the garage or search through a thrift store to score a camera from way back when (as in the ‘90s or earlier). Another easy way to get a camera, although it may be more costly, is to purchase one from an online source, such as Lomography. Sadly for those on a budget, old film costs more for that genuine retro look. Or, if equipped with a smart phone, install applications such as Vignette and Retro Camera to enhance your digital photos.

After you obtain your awesome film camera, develop your photos, then upload them so the world can see your artsy photography. To share with your hipster friends, create a Tumblr blogging account or an online Flickr photostream.

If you have followed these four easy steps, then cool! Try not to act surprised the first time someone calls you a hipster!

A version of this article first appeared in the Sept. 9, 2011 print edition of The Lowell.

Illustrations by Hoi Leung