Crew has enabled me to understand that in order to succeed, I have to push myself and maintain a positive state of mind. It has brought out the "savage" competitor in me.

A normal day for me goes like this: wake up, eat, get dressed, go to school, die at crew, eat, do homework, sleep. On other days, I start crew at 4:45 a.m., frantically get dressed and try to look halfway decent within 15 minutes after, and then make it to my 1-2 class.

In an afternoon practice, we warm up with some stretching, several sets of jumping jacks and squats with added jumps and compressions. After our light warm-up, we do one of four things: erg, row, run or complete a strength circuit. The erg, which simulates rowing on a machine, is the option the majority of us dread, although it is the most effective way to increase speed and strength. Stumbling off the devilish machine, eyes burning with sweat, wobbling over to a stable structure to rest on, I at first feel completely battered and defeated, but then later, once my body has fully recovered, I feel complete satisfaction.

Such satisfaction is not all that I love about crew. At the beginning of a 2000m race, after an official tells the crews to get ready, the coxswain, the one who steers the boat and motivates the rowers, yells out the start sequence to lead its rowers into the race strong and fast. When I hear "Attention, row!" from an official and the start sequence of "Half, half, three quarters, three quarters, full, full!" from my coxswain, I feel exhilarated.

I considered quitting crew at one point or another throughout these past four years. But I realized that the pros on my lists — keeping fit, traveling with friends and potentially being recruited for college — always seemed to outweigh the cons — no free time, early morning practices and intense workouts. I would even find myself rigging the lists so that staying on crew would win. Something in me is always rooting for me to stick with it.

No matter what my state of physical health is, no matter what my parents tell me, as long as I can somewhat breathe I will be at practice because crew requires that intensity. As the top-ranked individual rowers form the varsity eight boat on Pacific Rowing Club, it provides for a very competitive atmosphere. Everyone knows that when someone else gets faster, her chances of getting a seat in the top boat increase. As nice as it is to know that there are fast girls on the team, it is very stressful to compete neck and neck with teammates day after day. On the other hand, when everyone works hard together, we achieve a satisfyingly high level of chemistry. I do not mind waking up at 4:15 a.m. if it means working with my fellow teammates to defeat a common enemy — another crew.

All of those hard workouts and competitions in which I pushed myself beyond my limits have made me mentally and physically strong, as well as helped my confidence. I do not know the person I would have been had I not decided to do crew. I do not even want to know that person.