I honestly didn't expect much from their milkshakes. After all, their mascot is a creepy man with red hair, humongous clown shoes and lips that cover half of his face. But I wanted to review a fast food shake, and McDonald’s seemed the best place to try. After all, whenever I crave French fries, theirs are the ones that I desire.

But even my lower-than-average expectations weren’t low enough. The milkshake, which was an unappealing canary-yellow shade, was way too thick; it required an insane amount of slurping power to take a single sip through the straw. And that sip wasn’t worth the effort: It was as overly sweet like the icing on an Oreo cookie.

Halfway through the drink, I thought, "How much more of this do I have to endure?" and "This is two bucks?"

My opinion continued to plummet in the last couple of sips, when something terrible happened. A clumpy substance was stuck in my straw! This was the last straw. I gave up on the milkshake after that.

After my experience at McDonald’s, I was almost frightened to drink another milkshake. But I pushed on to Baskin Robbins, unwilling to let McDonald’s ruin all milkshakes for me. Plus, how bad can their milkshake be? Known for being the world's largest chain of ice cream specialty stores, Baskin Robbins surely should have the milkshake down.

"If you want a good milkshake, a franchise isn't the right place to get it."

But I couldn't have been more wrong. Visually, the shake was particularly unappealing. A thin layer of liquid floated above a clump of melting ice cream and I could see other huge lumps in the shake. But one shouldn’t judge a milkshake just by the lumps, so I persevered, taking a sip with my eyes closed, similar to how I drink disgusting Chinese medicine with my nose plugged.

While the milkshake wasn't overly sweet like the one from McDonald’s, it had a kind of floury, chalky aftertaste. It was not ice creamy at all; instead, drinking it was like drinking sweet milk that had been left out for a couple of hours.

A mediocre, mushy mess, the milkshake definitely wasn't worth the $4.50 and the calories. Baskin Robbins may make good ice cream, but their milkshakes are far from good.

Island Cafe

Island Café, my third milkshake experience, isn't actually a cafe. It is a cool Hawaiian diner on the corner of 19th Avenue and Taraval that has a huge surfboard on its wall. I’ve been itching to visit it since it opened last year. I was drawn to the straw roof and the huge TV.

Inside, the unique décor created the perfect atmosphere for Hawaiian cuisine or even just a simple milkshake. The walls were decorated with cutely angry little tiki men baring tightly clenched teeth. A ukulele hung near the kitchen. A huge wall-to-wall mirror showed everything that happened on the street — except inverted. The atmosphere was ruined a bit, however, by a pervasive smell of something like fried bacon.

While waiting for a $5 milkshake, my friend and I sat on comfortable, shiny red stools at the counter, where we could spread out and even do some homework if we wanted to.

The vanilla milkshake, which was ample enough to share, came in a large glass with a straw and a metal cup with a spoon.

The milkshake was a real delight after the McDonald’s and Baskin Robbins fiascos. This one actually tasted like vanilla ice cream and it was surprisingly good even after it had melted. It wasn't too thick, but at the same time, it wasn't too watery. The ratio of milk to ice cream was just right.

It became evident to me that if you want a good milkshake, a franchise isn't the right place to get it. Instead, go to a privately owned shop that will probably not have unpleasant surprises in your straw. While the prices may be higher, the potions and the quality will make it worthwhile.